Exactly one year ago today I had a nervous breakdown and spent the next week in a psychiatric hospital. I know that is a pretty blunt statement to start out with for my very first blog post but it is THE reason I decided to start blogging. I don't want to hide who I was back then or the results of my poor choices in life because then God's blessings and his purpose for the pain would never be seen to fruition. I don't know about you but if I am struggling with something that major, I want to talk to someone who can empathize and give me some hope from the other side of the tunnel. So, this is what I hope this blog will be for you...a shining light to help you find your way out of that dark tunnel you may be in. I get it. I have been there.
Don't worry, I am not going to drag you through all the many details of how everything I knew fell apart but you do need to know where I was at so you know that I was and still am, on occasion, a COMPLETE royal mess! In the span of a year, I came close to dying in an emergency surgery, I became enmeshed in some EXTREMELY toxic friendships, I became an alcoholic, I was physically assaulted, and my marriage of 16 years fell apart. Somehow I had made it through all of that but on this particular night, everything came to a head. I made an extremely difficult decision that needed to be made but, unfortunately, it did not come without collateral damage. The complete disdain and anger that I felt coming from someone who I loved very much but who I hurt as a result of my decision was the last straw. I had hit rock bottom and the old me died that night.
Ok, I want to take a little bit of an intercession here to give you a break from reading. I am notorious for losing interest in blogs that go on and on. I typically think in bullet points and, I promise, all future posts will be more short and to the point. So, take a break and come on back tomorrow when you are no longer pulling your hair out from ALL THE WORDS.